Today I woke up at 6am, preparing milk and dozed off with Zann until 930am..She woke up earlier, while me still having difficulty waking up despite her calling me umpteen times. V tired. Anyway still forced myself up. Gave her bread in milo for breakfast and she loved it. HB called saying will be coming hm today ard 11pm. So late. He must be feeling disappointed that I canf fetch him given the late timing. Zann needs her ZZz.

He asked if his folks called which he believed they ll call. On what grounds? cos they are his parents? or believing they have done their part showing concern abt me? I was already unhappy with them (yes they let me down before in the past).
I am asked to let go of the emotion baggage many times but saying is easy, doing it is hard. How not to bother abt them when they always have something!

What have they done to make me feel i am accepted as a daughter inlaw? Nothing.
Only hurtful words+their so called rules+ their ego style!!!

Being married, is considered half daughter isnt it? I I told my HB, if they really treated me as one, they wun even came up with this thkg tat " Elders shldnt celebrate for the younger generation" - this phrase refering to me! Ok HB is their Son, Zann is their grandaughter. Then what Am I? IT really hurts to hear that. I am unwanted. Not even a feeling of daughter.

And it hurts even more when HB said I dun respect them. What have I done wrong? I was so good them in the past no one see. Now everythg seems like i am a sinner. To ask for acceptance as Daughter so difficult ? IT Really hurts! How can HB say like that !!!


Now they told HB they ll only buy present for Zann.

I argued this with my HB. they can come up with anythg, any rules ..say what they like and make HB think they are right. Their attitude is really fuck up. And HB never stand up for me. Maybe i am just an extra, who happen to bring Zann into tis world. SAD. I cried when I think of this. No one knows. No one bother.